Let’s Talk About Trauma
Today, many people speak about trauma but thanks to popular psychology, many also misunderstand what it actually is.
Some believe trauma must be something extreme — an accident, abuse, or war.
Others go to the opposite extreme: they try to find trauma in every uncomfortable experience, often blaming their parents, partners, or society — and using that explanation to avoid taking personal responsibility.
Neither view gives us a real understanding of what trauma is. They overlook the complexity of how trauma actually forms — and how it continues to shape our inner world, often quietly and persistently.
Some believe trauma must be something extreme — an accident, abuse, or war.
Others go to the opposite extreme: they try to find trauma in every uncomfortable experience, often blaming their parents, partners, or society — and using that explanation to avoid taking personal responsibility.
Neither view gives us a real understanding of what trauma is. They overlook the complexity of how trauma actually forms — and how it continues to shape our inner world, often quietly and persistently.
So what is trauma?
Sigmund Freud once said that any event can be traumatic — if it causes overwhelming feelings of terror, fear, shame, emotional pain. And, importantly, whether or not it becomes trauma depends not just on the event itself, but on the person’s sensitivity and capacity to process it.
There are three key ideas in this:
There are three key ideas in this:
1) It can be any event.
What’s traumatic for one person might seem minor to someone else.
Trauma is not about the event — it’s about how it was experienced.
Trauma is not about the event — it’s about how it was experienced.
2) There’s always an intense emotional reaction.
The person can’t cope. The feelings are too big.
Fear, shame, grief, helplessness — and no way to regulate or release them.
Fear, shame, grief, helplessness — and no way to regulate or release them.
3) It’s subjective.
Trauma isn’t measured by facts. It’s measured by impact.
What matters is how the person experienced it in their inner world — not how “serious” it looked from the outside.
What matters is how the person experienced it in their inner world — not how “serious” it looked from the outside.
Remember: event + intense emotional reaction + personal impact – these are main components of forming trauma
Four principles of traumatic experience
No matter what kind of trauma we’re dealing with — PTSD, childhood trauma, long-term stress, or a family crisis that a person experiences as traumatic — these four principles remain the same:
🔹 1. Trauma leaves a deep imprint on the psyche.
It affects a person’s thinking patterns, emotional responses, and behavior, forming a new internal worldview.
🔹 2. Trauma forms only when a person is unable to protect themselves from events that feel threatening to their life or psychological integrity.
If a person manages to shield themselves — emotionally or physically — the same event may be experienced simply as stress, not trauma.
🔹 3. If a person has enough internal and external resources, psychological trauma does not destroy their positive view of themselves or the world.
Resources might include emotional stability, a support system, previous coping skills — anything that helps process the experience.
🔹 4. Trauma is a real and active issue for the psyche — even if the event happened years ago.
For example, the trauma may have occurred when the person was 3 years old, and now they’re 35 — yet it still affects their reality. It continues to influence their life in the present: their emotions, relationships, reactions, and self-image — like a program running in the background.
This is the first article in a series dedicated to understanding trauma.
Some articles will cover the foundations — how trauma forms, what types exist, and how it shows up in everyday life. Others will explore more specific topics, such as how trauma affects the brain, relationships, identity, and our ability to connect with others. The goal is simple: to offer clear, grounded knowledge — without exaggerating and without minimizing.
Stay with me to learn more — or subscribe to my newsletter to be notified about all new articles.
🔹 1. Trauma leaves a deep imprint on the psyche.
It affects a person’s thinking patterns, emotional responses, and behavior, forming a new internal worldview.
🔹 2. Trauma forms only when a person is unable to protect themselves from events that feel threatening to their life or psychological integrity.
If a person manages to shield themselves — emotionally or physically — the same event may be experienced simply as stress, not trauma.
🔹 3. If a person has enough internal and external resources, psychological trauma does not destroy their positive view of themselves or the world.
Resources might include emotional stability, a support system, previous coping skills — anything that helps process the experience.
🔹 4. Trauma is a real and active issue for the psyche — even if the event happened years ago.
For example, the trauma may have occurred when the person was 3 years old, and now they’re 35 — yet it still affects their reality. It continues to influence their life in the present: their emotions, relationships, reactions, and self-image — like a program running in the background.
This is the first article in a series dedicated to understanding trauma.
Some articles will cover the foundations — how trauma forms, what types exist, and how it shows up in everyday life. Others will explore more specific topics, such as how trauma affects the brain, relationships, identity, and our ability to connect with others. The goal is simple: to offer clear, grounded knowledge — without exaggerating and without minimizing.
Stay with me to learn more — or subscribe to my newsletter to be notified about all new articles.
