Typical Metaprograms: Do You Have One of Them?

Ever wonder why you keep falling into the same patterns, no matter how hard you try to change?
In my last post, we explored how metaprograms—those hidden mental filters—can subtly shape your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Before we jump into the specifics, let’s take a quick look back: these patterns often start in childhood and can become so ingrained that they influence everything from your relationships to your career choices. There are 18 types of metaprograms that MCP coaches work with. To help you figure out which one might be holding you back, let’s explore some of the most common ones

Ever feel like no one can truly understand you? Like they just don’t know the real you? Nobody can fully satisfy your need for a deep, sincere connection with another person? If so, you might be dealing with the emotional hunger metaprogram. It’s like having a constant craving for a deep connection, but never quite getting it.

People with this metaprogram usually end up in one of two situations:

• They either keep finding themselves with people who are cold, distant, and more interested in taking than giving. This keeps happening until they finally learn the “karmic lesson” to break free;
• Or, they become cold and distant themselves—taking more than they give. Because they become like this, others also don't want to do anything for them, fearing or unwilling to engage. This just pushes others away, leaving them with that same unmet need for connection.

If you have the abandonment metaprogram, you probably worry that your loved ones will eventually leave you or that something bad might happen. It’s like living with a constant fear of being left alone.

This metaprogram makes you cling to people who are most likely to leave you, never letting them out of your sight. But let’s be honest—not everyone can handle that kind of pressure or the need to be constantly present. And guess what? It often ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy.

People with this metaprogram either find themselves in unstable relationships, leave their partners first to avoid being abandoned, or stay away from relationships altogether.

For those with the rejection metaprogram, life often feels like you’re the odd one out, different from everyone else. Even when you’re surrounded by people, the feeling of being different can be so overwhelming that it makes you feel lonely, even in a crowd.

Because of this, people with this metaprogram often don’t have many close friends. The thought that something’s off about them, that they’re just not like everyone else, makes it tough to form deep connections. This usually leads to one of two strategies:

• They start doing whatever it takes to please others, sacrificing their own needs and interests just to be liked;
• Or they become arrogant, looking down on people as if they’re smarter and know more. This way, they can keep pretending that they’re fine, and it’s everyone else who doesn’t get it.

If you’ve got the arrogance metaprogram, you probably believe that the rules everyone else follows just don’t apply to you. You might think you’re smarter, better, or stronger than most people, and that often leads you to try and dominate others—whether it’s through your intelligence, physical presence, status, or something else.

But here’s the thing: almost always, arrogance is a mask or a defense mechanism. It’s a way to deal with deeper feelings of brokenness, shame, or not being good enough.

If you’ve got the brokenness metaprogram, you might notice that arrogance and the fear of rejection are always lurking in the background. People with this metaprogram often feel a deep sense of shame and the need to protect themselves from criticism. Sometimes this comes out as arrogance, but other times it’s about downplaying your own achievements or just hiding away.

You might find yourself attracted to people who confirm your beliefs, treating you in a way that feels like what you "deserve." This need to hide your "broken" side can make it hard to form deep connections with others and often affects how you interact with your kids, where you might try to "fix" their broken parts at all costs.

This is one of the most common metaprograms. It’s when you’ve got specific expectations for how others should behave, look, and what they should say. If you’re always saying "should" and "must," this might be your metaprogram.

This metaprogram is usually driven by fear and the discomfort of dealing with unpredictable realities. It’s about wanting to control things while also being afraid of losing control. Trying to force reality to match your expectations can be exhausting and often leads to frustration and suffering.

But remember, when it comes to professional duties, raising kids, following the law, or sticking to agreements, having instructions is perfectly normal.

If you’re someone who constantly adapts to others to get their approval, you might be dealing with the search for recognition metaprogram. It’s like being a chameleon—changing who you are just to be accepted, respected, and validated.

The desire to be noticed and recognized can make you abandon your true self, turning into someone you’re really not. But even if your intelligence, charm, talent, kindness, and adaptability win you the recognition and affection you crave, there’s still an emptiness inside that never seems to go away.

Understanding your metaprograms can be a game-changer, leading to real personal growth and a more satisfying life.
Ready to take the next step? Book free diagnostic session with MCP coach and start your journey toward the life you want.