How Our Brain Works: The Science of Change and Habits

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a complex lecture on neuropsychology. I’ll keep it simple and focus only on the essentials that help explain why changing long-standing behavior patterns is so difficult.

The human brain has evolved over millions of years, layer by layer, starting with its most basic structures. At the core is the reptilian brain, which we share with reptiles like lizards and dinosaurs. This part of the brain is rigid and instinctive, controlling essential bodily functions like breathing, heartbeat, and organ regulation. But the reptile brain is not a part of our discussion and we will start with:

The prefrontal cortex, located right behind your forehead, is often called the “CEO of the brain.” It oversees everything, sees the big picture, and—when functioning well—has the strength to manage and suppress the emotional brain.

It’s responsible for decision-making, managing impulses, staying focused on goals, and creating new habits. The prefrontal cortex allows us to think through challenges, imagine possibilities, and adapt to change. It’s the part of the brain we rely on for overcoming obstacles and achieving meaningful goals.

However, this “CEO” is highly sensitive. Stress, lack of sleep, or even alcohol can temporarily “switch it off,” leaving us at the mercy of more instinctive brain regions. Its development also depends on early life experiences. If we grew up in environments marked by stress or unpredictability, the prefrontal cortex might not function as effectively as it could, making emotional regulation or focus more challenging.

The good news? Like a muscle, the prefrontal cortex can be strengthened through consistent practice. Activities like mindfulness, problem-solving, and intentional effort toward challenging tasks help improve its function.

Ok, we understood who the CEO is and what the prefrontal cortex does. Now, let’s dive into a slightly more ancient part of the brain—the emotional brain.

The emotional brain, also known as the subconscious brain, is incredibly powerful. It shapes so much of our habits, reactions, and emotional patterns. Its main role is to keep us safe by steering us away from discomfort and toward comfort. While this instinct is essential for survival, it can sometimes get in the way, especially when we’re trying to make meaningful changes in our lives.

At the center of the emotional brain is the amygdala, often referred to as the brain’s “fear radar.” It’s constantly on alert, scanning for potential threats and triggering the fight-or-flight response when danger is detected. This is a vital function, but when the amygdala becomes overactive, it can lead to significant challenges.

For example, if we grow up in an environment with a lot of conflict or stress, where safety isn’t guaranteed, the amygdala can become overdeveloped. This leads to hyper-vigilance and heightened anxiety, which can stay with us throughout life. In fact, this heightened sensitivity can start even before birth, as the brain responds to prolonged stress hormones in the mother’s body.

When the emotional brain takes over without a strong prefrontal cortex to balance it, it can create challenges in many areas of life. This might show up as:

▪️ Difficulties in relationships.

▪️ Procrastination and avoidance.

▪️ Low self-esteem.

▪️ Addictive behaviors that help cope with difficult emotions.

You can think of the relationship between the emotional brain and the prefrontal cortex like a rider and a horse. If the rider is inexperienced or the horse is untrained, it’s impossible to control the horse—it will simply throw the rider off. But when the rider is skilled and the horse is trained, the two work in harmony, allowing the horse to be guided effectively.

The same is true for the emotional brain and the prefrontal cortex. A strong, well-functioning prefrontal cortex is essential to manage the emotional brain. It helps us push through discomfort, whether it’s getting off the couch to exercise, resisting the temptation of unhealthy choices, or tackling a task we’ve been avoiding.

Let’s talk about neuroplasticity, one of the most exciting discoveries about how our brain works.

About 20 years ago, scientists believed the brain was static—that it developed in early childhood and stayed the same throughout life. Once patterns were set, they thought, they were unchangeable. But we now know this is far from the truth.

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to constantly change, grow, and rewire itself. Connections in the brain are always dying off, growing, or being reorganized based on what we experience—externally and internally. What we think, feel, and do repeatedly shapes our brain, embedding patterns that can eventually become automatic.

This is why habits, both good and bad, can feel so ingrained. The more we repeat an action, thought, or feeling, the more deeply it becomes embedded in the subconscious brain. And while this is great for learning new skills, it’s also the reason why breaking old patterns is so challenging.

Think about learning to drive, speak a new language, or play an instrument. At first, it’s awkward, uncomfortable, and frustrating. But with consistent practice, it becomes second nature. Eventually, you drive without consciously thinking about it, speak fluently without planning every word, or play music without focusing on each note. That’s neuroplasticity in action.

But it’s not just about skills. Neuroplasticity also works on our thoughts and emotions.

If you repeatedly tell yourself, “I’m confident” or “I can do this,” your brain builds pathways that make those thoughts more automatic.

On the other hand, if you constantly think, “I’m not good enough,” your brain reinforces those negative pathways, embedding patterns of self-doubt, anxiety, or shame.

This is how we get stuck in these cycles, due to neuroplasticity. Negative patterns become so automatic that they feel impossible to escape—but they’re not.

The key takeaway? Changing your brain requires more than understanding— it takes repeated practice and, unfortunately, time. By consciously choosing new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting, and experiencing them consistently, you can rewire your brain for better habits and emotional patterns.